The Pressure to Be Perfect: How Social Media Impacts Teens’ Self-Esteem

I’ve written a lot about how social media is detrimental to kids’ mental health. But witnessing the effort some teens in my life put into selfies motivated me to explore the impact these platforms have on young people’s self-esteem in particular. Does the pressure to be perfect online hurt the way they feel about themselves? I discovered the answer is a solid (and, frankly, unsurprising) yes. 

How does social media impact teens’ self-esteem?

Heightened attention to physical appearance and wavering self-esteem is normal for teens, due in part to developing bodies and an increased awareness of social comparison. Here’s how social media has supercharged this:

1. Encourages unhealthy comparisons

Social media prompts unhealthy comparisons in users of all ages. But adolescents' prefrontal cortexes aren’t fully formed, so they process videos and images they see online in a particularly harmful way, literally changing their still-developing brains

2. Exposure to unrealistic beauty standards

Teens are bombarded with curated, heavily edited images online. Research suggests that these unrealistic beauty standards can significantly change their perception of attractiveness, including how they rank themselves in comparison. 

3. In search of the perfect post

It’s not just viewing altered images that’s a problem. Using filters and editing tools to maximize their own physical attractiveness can also lead to lower self-image. This is particularly stark among teens of color due to racial biases in social media beauty filters. Often modeled on white people, filters reinforce racist ideals of attractiveness. 

4. Affects kids of all genders

This conversation often focuses on girls, but boys are also harmed. In one study, nearly every boy reported being exposed to content about appearance such as building muscle and having a certain jawline. Research shows that the more time boys spend on social media, the lower their body satisfaction.

5. Narrow ideas of masculinity and gender roles

Another way young boys are impacted is that they’re frequently fed a narrow idea of what it means to be male. Exposure to content insisting they must build muscle and have lots of money to impress girls is associated with anxiety, feelings of isolation, and low self-esteem in boys. 

6. Not just about looks 

While self-esteem around physical appearance takes a particular hit, it’s not the only area that suffers. Constant comparison with others’ social lives and achievements creates feelings of not measuring up.

Signs that social media is ruining your teen’s self-esteem

Here are some signs that may indicate your teen’s self-esteem is suffering due to social media:

  • Mood swings, especially after scrolling 

  • Crippling fear of failure

  • Excessive comparison to others 

  • Preoccupation with “likes”

  • Difficulty accepting compliments 

  • Ignoring or downplaying their achievements 

  • Blaming themselves when things go wrong 

  • Obsessing over making a post 

Tips: How to help your teen’s self-esteem survive social media

Here’s how to help your teen’s self-esteem survive social media:

1. Reset their algorithm 

Social media algorithms are like echo chambers, amplifying the number of image-focused posts teens are exposed to. In fact, two in three boys report being fed content that promotes stereotypes about masculinity without seeking it. Help your teen periodically reset their algorithm.

2. Encourage real-world relationships

Adolescents with strong offline relationships exhibit higher self-esteem. Encourage your teen to hang with their friends in person. 

3. Teach digital literacy

Help your teen understand the interaction between social media and self-image. Give them opportunities to process those feelings and encourage them to pull back or take a break from social media when it makes them feel bad. 

4. Model a healthy relationship with social media 

Adults aren’t immune to the vicious cycle of social media comparison. But seeing you negatively compare yourself to what you see online sets a harmful example for your child. 

This is an instance where we need to fake it till we feel it, folks. Work out your own social media-induced insecurities with a friend or therapist and keep that business away from your impressionable offspring. 

5. Pay attention 

Overall, there’s a societal acceptance of body dissatisfaction in teens (especially girls). This creates a dangerous environment for teens because their feelings of inadequacy over what they see online are easily overlooked as typical. 

Monitor what your child does online and how it makes them feel, and don’t dismiss your instincts when you suspect something is wrong. 

In short

Exposure to heavily edited images, unrealistic beauty standards, and unhealthy portrayals of gender roles on social media negatively impact teens’ self-esteem. You can help by keeping an eye on your child’s activity online, resetting their algorithm, teaching them digital literacy, and modeling a healthy relationship with social media. 

How Does Social Media Influence Eating Disorders?

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From so-called thinfluencers to the glamorization of harmful eating habits and online personalities promoting juice cleanses, diet culture and unrealistic body standards are nearly inescapable on social media. But how does social media influence eating disorders? In this article, we’ll explore this issue and offer proactive tips for parents.

Eating disorders and adolescents 

In adolescents, eating disorders are the third most prevalent chronic illness, with cases more than doubling in the past decade. While anorexia and bulimia are the most well known, disordered eating can take a number of different forms, such as binge eating disorder and extreme picky eating. These disorders tend to emerge in adolescence, and it’s estimated that 13% of young people develop one by the age of 20. 

Social media’s impact on eating disorders

Due to their complexity, no single risk factor causes eating disorders. However, research suggests that the misuse of social media platforms is likely a significant contributing factor.

Here are some social media trends that may influence eating disorders: 

What I eat in a day 

#WIEIAD or “What I Eat in a Day” is a social media trend where users detail everything they eat in a 24-hour period.

Why it’s problematic: #WIEIAD videos often endorse unhealthy eating habits that can lead to imbalanced diets, body image issues, and disordered eating. Even if the food featured in a video is healthy for the creator, nutritional needs vary from person to person. Kids who imitate these diets hoping to achieve the creator’s body type may not get the calories or nutrients they need to thrive. 

Thinspiration/fitspiration 

Thinspiration refers to images and text promoting and idealizing thinness. Fitspiration is the promotion of health and fitness. 

Why it’s problematic: Thinspiration is the more worrisome of the two, often highlighting bony body parts, emphasizing body comparison, and promoting restrictive eating. 

Fitspiration tends to be less extreme than thinspiration — but not all fitspo accounts are healthy. Studies comparing the two reveal that fitspiration often promotes similar problematic attitudes about fitness, body image, and restrictive eating. Both tend to endorse an unrealistic ideal of a “fit-and-thin” body type. 

Thinfluencers 

Thinfluencers are social media creators who post content promoting weight loss, often through extreme dieting, with the goal of fitting a thin societal standard. 

Why it’s problematic: Thinfluencers can become negative role models for impressionable kids. Young people who spent their formative years in the pandemic may be especially vulnerable. Because the internet was a big way kids found connection during that time, they may be more likely to form a parasocial relationship with influencers, making them especially susceptible to their messages. 

Clean eating

Another concerning trend is a hyperfocus on clean eating. While eating mostly whole foods and minimizing ultra-processed foods is generally a good idea, social media has turned clean eating into a trend that kids are encouraged to buy into. This shows up as sponsored posts for “detox” green powders and online personalities with no nutrition credentials promoting fads like juice cleanses and raw food diets. 

Why it’s problematic: Orthorexia is an eating disorder characterized by an unhealthy fixation on eating only healthy and clean foods. Social media content focusing on clean eating and detoxes may entice kids into unhealthy relationships with food or reinforce already existing habits. 

Eating disorder warning signs

Maiken Wiese, a Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist specializing in eating disorder recovery for teens and adults, shared the following list of eating disorder red flags for parents to watch for: 

  • Skipping meals

  • Eating alone or away from family 

  • Eliminating entire food groups 

  • Increased concern about appearance 

  • More stress and arguments around meals 

  • Eating very slow or very fast 

  • Generally not being as mentally present as usual during meal times

Although we’ve all been conditioned to imagine a person with an eating disorder as looking emaciated, that isn’t always the case. Wiese cautions parents that their child’s appearance may or may not change, but that has no bearing on how dangerous disordered eating can be. 

Tips for parents

Wiese emphasizes that parents don’t cause children to develop eating disorders. Instead, “they can be incredibly helpful and some of the best supporters of children building a better relationship with food and their bodies.”

Here are some actions parents can take: 

  • Lead by example. According to Wiese, “By eating with your child and taking your own focus away from dieting or weight, you provide a powerful example and can make food experiences about more than just the food: the atmosphere, the conversation, and connecting with others.”

  • Check your own attitude about food and weight. Wiese says that children can internalize messages parents put out about food and weight. She advises parents to “refrain from speaking negatively about your body, other people's bodies, or food around your children.”

  • Teach media literacy. Research has shown that an adolescent girl’s body image is significantly more negative after viewing images of thin bodies, suggesting an association between exposure to these images and an increase in eating disorder symptoms. Researchers point to media literacy as a potential intervention. Teaching your children to think critically about the content they view is an important step parents can take to minimize the impact of negative social media messages about food and body image.

  • Stay involved in your child’s online life. Regularly talk to your child about the content they view online. Periodically sit with them to view their feed together, and use a monitoring app like BrightCanary to stay on top of the media they consume.

  • Get help if you suspect your child has an eating disorder. If you think your child may have an eating disorder, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional for help. Wiese also points parents to F.E.A.S.T., an online resource to help caregivers support a child with an eating disorder. 

The bottom line

There’s no single reason a person develops an eating disorder, but research suggests that the misuse of social media platforms is likely a significant contributing factor. Parents can help support their child to develop a healthy relationship with food by modeling a positive attitude about eating and their own bodies, teaching media literacy, and staying involved in their child’s activity on social media. 

Source: https://www.brightcanary.io/how-does-socia...

Is AI Giving Kids Brain Rot? What Parents Need to Know About Cognitive Atrophy

According to a survey by the Pew Research Center, 64% of teens report using generative AI chatbots like ChatGPT for everything from homework help to companionship. But a startling concern is emerging among experts. Early research suggests that overreliance on generative AI could lead to cognitive atrophy and the loss of brain plasticity. Or, as the kids say: brain rot

As a parent who is determined to teach my kids how to use AI responsibly, I’ve been watching this issue closely. Here’s what to know about how overusing AI impacts the brain and how to protect your child’s cognitive abilities in the face of this new technology.    

What are the cognitive dangers to kids from overreliance on AI?

Generative AI is in its infancy, and so is the research on this topic. But cognitive offloading is likely to blame for AI’s impact on kids’ cognitive health. 

Cognitive offloading happens when people use external tools or resources to reduce mental effort. On the one hand, this process can help people accomplish tasks faster. On the other hand, all of that offloading can be harmful for developing brains.

1. Using AI hinders skills such as writing and reasoning

Experts suggest cognitive offloading erodes critical thinking and reasoning skills

When AI always provides the answers, kids miss out on the opportunity to develop foundational life skills like problem-solving and deep thinking. 

For example, learning to write is deeply intertwined with learning to think. However, offloading writing tasks degrades students’ ability to organize and express their thoughts.

2. Overuse of AI weakens the way the brain absorbs information

When kids offload tasks to AI without doing any leg work, their ability to perform independent research and analyze materials decreases. Students end up with only a superficial understanding of information — they can state the what, but don’t grasp the why or how

3. Children and teens are the most vulnerable

Research has shown that younger users demonstrate a higher dependence on AI tools when compared to older users, and that the corresponding decline in their critical thinking is also greater.

The brain is particularly malleable during childhood and adolescence, making kids and teens especially vulnerable to the impacts of AI.

Because younger children are more likely to anthropomorphize, or assign human properties to inanimate objects, experts suggest that even simple praise from an AI chatbot can greatly change their behavior.  

How can I help my child use AI in a healthy way? 

The sooner you start teaching your child to use AI smartly, the more you can buffer its effect on their brain. 

1. Help your child build AI literacy 

To help your child gain AI literacy, teach them:

  • How AI tools work. Here’s a great primer for kids

  • AI can be wrong. From hallucinations to faulty data to fraud, AI doesn’t always get the facts straight. 

  • AI contains bias. AI is trained on data from humans, and humans are inherently biased. Therefore, so is AI. 

  • How overuse of AI can impact their brain. Ask open-ended questions like, "AI can give quick answers, but what do you think happens to our brains when we don't have to work hard to solve things?"

2. Teach your child to use AI as a tool, not a crutch

AI isn’t inherently harmful. The key is using it to support thinking, not replace it. Encourage your child to:

  • Generate their own ideas. 

  • Limit their use of AI, and explain that moderation is key.

  • Use AI as a starting point for research, but independently verify facts.

  • Write first drafts themselves to gain the cognitive benefits of organizing and expressing their thoughts.

  • Focus on using AI to improve productivity rather than offloading thinking.

  • Think critically about the material produced by AI.

3. Model a balanced approach to AI

  • Examine your own use (or overuse) of AI.

  • Openly question the information you encounter on AI.

  • Maintain a curiosity mindset and let your kids see you engaging in activities and pursuits without the use of AI.

In short 

Overreliance on generative AI may lead to a decline in cognitive skills such as critical thinking, reasoning, and the ability to analyze and understand information. Because their brains are especially malleable, children and teens are particularly vulnerable to the impacts of AI on the brain. It’s important to teach your child AI literacy, show them how to use the tool responsibly, and monitor how they use it.